In high school, one thinks about College and what it takes to get to college. Then you are there. You learn a lot about yourself, you drink too much, your heart gets broken, you pass a difficult class. If you are lucky enough to follow through, you come out with a whole new perspective on yourself, life and your future. And if you are super lucky, you come out with a job waiting.
For me, this last piece was not the case. In fact, I ignored all things that were not part of my accedemic curriculum in my last semester, because I was dead set on passing and finishing this 4 and 1/2 year journey. A time that can be summed up in one word for me: Overwhelming. I wanted it to be OVER. But then....It was...
Some people pack up their things, move out of their dorm or apartment. They go back home, or move to a new city. None of this was my story. I had been home for two years, and was not moving anywhere immediately. But! In this moment, I felt the glory!
This was a moment you know is happening when it occurs. You are closing a book in the volume of your life. You can try to soak it in, but you cant. This journey needs time to be digested. You only half realize what will really follow that are direct results of your actions for the past 4 or 4 and 1/2, or 3, or 5 years. At the time of graduation, you know it is happening, but you dont know WHAT is happening. So how do you deal with all of this. I'll tell you. This is what happens the MOMENT YOU FINISH COLLEGE.
I wake up.
I go to the library.
For the first time in 2 years, I am joined by a study group.
We have 15 minutes before our last final exam, and here we are trying to cram in the last piece of information.
one hour and 45 minutes later:
I look up and noone is in the room.
It's me and the professor. I suppose it is time. I double check to see that all of my I's are dotted and my T's are crossed. I put my pencil down.
Slowly I get up. What did I just do? Will I ever need a pencil again? I take my test realize all of the questions have been answered. This is it. There is no more time, and no more questions. It. Is. OVER!
These were my thoughts somewhere between standing up, and turning toward the professor's desk to hand in my final final exam. Oh NO! This moment will not go unknoticed I think to myself. THIS IS IT!
As I approach the professor's desk and place my paper on everyone else's, he looks confused as I give him a wink and I moonwalk out of his office. I moon walk straight into the hallway and hopefully, out of his classroom forever.
I dont know if I passed, but I am DONE TRYING!
This was December 16 and THIS was the day I swore off Coffee for one year....