Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Funny Story About a Fanny Pack

Fanny Facts:

Fanny: noun

Synonyms: Derriere. behind. Rear. Budonkadonk. Tush.

Pack: Also a noun

Synonyms: Back pack. Bag. Storage container. Sack.

Fanny Packs became popular in the 1980’s for reasons unknown. Often worn by small children, tourist and over protective parents, these fashionable pieces are now a part of our past.

Why they are not popular today.(see above pictures)

My bike’s fanny pack sits just below…my fanny. Right there under the seat. (see below)

Word to the wise: never keep your fanny pack attached to the bike when you bring it into the shop.

Gather round. This is one you are going to want to tell the grandkids.

One time… I brought my bike in for some routine maintenance. Just as I handed the good people at Human Zoom my treasured possession, I spotted my mistake. My eyes zoomed in on the fanny pack; Velcro-ed and dangling just below my rugged seat. I felt everyone whip their heads around and their eyes were like darts to the fanny back and then back at me. Life was suddenly a slow motion roller coaster. I looked around. I saw the gazes. I heard the front door open. Who was there? A man. A very nice man with children and protective clothing. I felt very close to this man at that moment. For he and I shared one common denominator. The Fanny Pack. He smiled and waved, walking merily toward the 'fix it' station cementing my mortification with every stride. The closer he came, pushing his reflector sporting, gear protector bearing bike, the clearer it became that I was not going to get away with this. I looked back at the young men who once stood in my eyes as modern day bicyclemechanic masters, and knew they would never think of me as the sly mountain killer I once was in their eyes.

It was gruesome. Slurs about saddlebags were thrown around.

eventually I emerged from the shop, vowing never to let myself make such a silly little mistake again.

About a week later Kristen was changing my freshly popped and freshly poo covered tire as Nikki biked away to find someone on the trails that had an extra tube.

That’s right, I kept my vow. I never made that silly little mistake again. I made a decision that actually mattered in its stead. I went on the trail without a tube or patch kit; both of which were in my fanny pack…in the truck.

This here is an extra huge THANK YOU to Nikki and Kristen. I might not have made it back that fateful day.

So… THANKS AGAIN LADIES, because one looks more like a fool with a flat on a mountain than one does with a fanny back on the street. Lesson Learned.

1 comment:

RoseForaReason said...

I want to update everyone on the status of Fanny Packs. They are entirely usefull, and I am currently trying to locate one for my person. <3 Lets bring it back shall we?